SST! Wanna see German holidaymakers partaking in a “wild sex orgy on stage” at Paradies nightclub in Mallorca?

One man’s Paradies (Mr Mosley?) might be another man’s 9th circle of Hell, but German tabloid Bild is not only here to judge.

At 3.30am:

Six young women dressed in sexy underwear strode on to the club’s stage while a compere got the male half of the audience worked up, shouting: “Welcome to the orgy in Paradies! Who wants some? Who wants to come on stage?”

Who wants some? The Germans are more like us than we’d feared.

Hands shoot up. Six men are chosen. Condoms are administered and on the command “Und Zer Off”, six Helmuts colonise a small sweaty unhygienic region of Spain.

Says one German stage diver:

“I wanted to try something new, but my one bit me. It was painful rather than pleasurable…”

But the best part of the report is the challenge laid down by the German tabloid:

The orgy left the Brits – infamous for drunkenness and violence at holiday resorts across Europe – floundering in the bad behaviour stakes.

One could argue that this is a stereotypical and arcane image, perhaps one encouraged by the notion that Europeans owe the British a debt of thanks – if that means mopping up their vomit and other excretions, then so be it – and that the Germans are to be forever apologetic.

You can have the sunloungers, but the rest of the country remains free.

But looking back would be to fall into an easy trap. The Germans have moved on and no longer export their brand of officialdom to collaborating continentals:

Says a police spokesman:

“The nightclub’s license does not cover sex parties, for that the owners need a pornography license. We will investigate it with our special department.”

The Mallorca police force has an orgy department. And they should do some checking because the Paradies club bills itself as:

“Where anything goes – Where anything is allowed.”

Nights include: “Sex Angels Night”, “Erotica Night” and “University of Sex Night”. Pictures of the “dancers” brings to mind East European prostitutes and itching.

As they say in Germany: “If you can’t beat zer Britisher tabloids, join zem…”

Original Story: anorak.co.uk

A pair of eagle-eyed cops on Thursday collared a man wanted for masturbating on a subway after recognizing him from cell phone pictures taken by his victim, police said.
The two officers – who had seen wanted posters featuring the cell phone images – spotted Kevin Bishop, 44, as he entered a Manhattan subway station around 4 p.m., police said.
Bishop, of the Bronx, whose rap sheet includes 64 arrests, pleasured himself in front of Cileane White on a northbound No. 3 train Friday, she said.
But White, 41, was the wrong woman to mess with.
The Harlem resident, who works as an administrative specialist for the FBI, used her cell phone to snap multiple pictures when Bishop exposed himself.
She initially took the cell phone images to the NYPD’s 32nd Precinct station house at 250 W. 135th St. But a uniformed female officer told her the incident “was not a police matter” and instructed her to call 311, police said.
The NYPD’s Internal Affairs Bureau is investigating the female officer, who is expected to be questioned today.
Bishop was charged with public lewdness last night, police said. His record includes 24 convictions, including charges of loitering for prostitution and drug possession.

Read more:  nydailynews.com

Montgomery County police arrested a man they said operated an illegal massage parlor out of his home and fondled his clients while secretly filming them on tape.
Rich Frisco, of Lower Providence Township, was arrested Friday and faced several charges including indecent exposure and invasion of privacy.
One of Frisco’s clients went to the cops after Frisco allegedly took his clothes off during her massage.
Investigators searched Frisco’s home, on Monitor Drive in Lower Providence Township, and found a hidden camera in a massage room and several tapes. One of the tapes recovered by police apparently showed Frisco naked and fondling one of his victims while she slept.

“We have at least 35 incidents where this occurred,” said Assistant District Attorney Kevin Steele.
Neighbors had no idea about Frisco’s massage business but said he and his wife were living at their home for many years and that they operated a daycare at their home – a business that is also unlicensed.
“I just find that odd. He never struck me as that kind of individual, [a] great neighbor. He has never done anything bad to my family or anything around here,” said Frank DiBenedetto, a neighbor.
Police also found child pornography on Frisco’s computer during the search. He was charged with Possession of Child Pornography.

Original Story:   nbcphiladelphia.com

The Warren County sheriff’s office has settled a federal lawsuit filed by a jail supervisor who lost his job for viewing computer porn and masturbating while on duty.

Terms of the settlement are confidential, lawyers said Monday.

Shaun Wells, a former lieutenant, claimed that sheriff’s officials discriminated against him because he had a sexual addiction and should have been allowed to keep working while he received treatment. He also claimed that others, who had more extensive past disciplinary records, received milder punishment.

Wells, who made about $60,000 a year, was among two supervisors who lost their jobs; Steve French, a sergeant, was fired but won his job back in arbitration. Guard Michael Lanning resigned before being fired, sheriff’s officials said at the time.

The investigation, in 2006, prompted disciplinary action against seven guards or 10 percent of the corrections staff.

While the initial complaint focused on Wells, an internal audit of the computer system showed that improper use of the Internet at the jail was rampant, mostly on the night shift.

Lanning had viewed 400 images of nude or pornographic images, while Wells, who admitted to sometimes spending five or six hours a night looking at inappropriate Internet sites, had the second highest amount at 65 videos and images, according to a forensic computer report filed with court documents.

Others involved in the investigation received discipline ranging from letters of reprimands to suspensions.

Wells’ lawsuit sought a court judgment saying sheriff’s officials had violated federal and state law, an unspecified amount of money for loss of employment, retirement benefits and health care benefits, as well as more than $100,000 in punitive damages from the county.

Original Story: cincinnati.com

Dogs have been blamed for eating homework – now a Florida man says his cat downloaded child pornography.

Police are charging Keith Griffin of Jensen Beach, Florida with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after finding more than 1,000 images on his personal computer.

Griffin told police he had been downloading music, and that his cat jumped on the keyboard when he left the room. He said “strange things” appeared on the computer when he returned.

He is being held in Martin county jail on $250,000 bond. No word on any charges against the cat.

Original Story:  guardian.co.uk

He’s a repeat sex offender – who should be registered with the Humane Society.

A South Carolina man was busted for having sex with a horse, while on probation for having sex with the same horse.

Rodell Vereen, 50, was arrested Monday night in the throes of bestiality by the filly’s shotgun-toting owner, who also has video surveillance of the perverse act.

“When they arrested him before I thought that was the end of it,” said Barbara Kenley, who caught Vereen in the middle of his romp in the hay with her 21-year-old horse, Sugar.

Vereen was charged with buggery and tresspassing, and was held on $10,000 bail.

“Hopefully he won’t get out,” said Kenley, owner of the Lazy B Stables in Conway, S.C. “My goal is to get him away from me and my property.”

Vereen was on probation for a buggery conviction stemming from a November 2007 assault on Sugar, a crime that prompted Kenley to wire her stables with surveillance cameras.

Kenley said cameras filmed Vereen having sex with her horse on July 19, but when she showed footage to the cops they told her they couldn’t identify the suspect.

She suspected Vereen would not be able to stay away from her horse, so she was ready when he snuck into her barn Monday.

“I wanted to catch him firsthand,” she said. “It was just a matter of time before I caught him.”

When Kenley pointed a shotgun at Vereen, he claimed to be looking for a bathroom.

“I told him he was full of crap,” Kenley said. “He apologized and said he didn’t mean to hurt me.”