UPLOAD – Jack in to Jack off!
review by Cindi Loftus

IF YOU ARE A FAN OF HOLOGRAPHS AND ALGORITHMS, VIRTUAL REALITY, COMPUTER GAMES, ROBOTS, SECRET FILES AND TECHNO GADGETS AND YOU LIKE TONS OF SEXY WOMEN HAVING TONS OF HARD CORE SEX, HERE’S AN EIGHT HOUR GOOD TIME FOR YOU!

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Director- Eli Cross
Starring-Hillary Scott, Eva Angelina, Derrick Pierce, Trina Michaels, Bryn Pryor, Tyler Knight, James Deen, Alex Sanders, Flick Shagwell, Michelle Aston, Marsha Lord, Veronica Rayne, Kayden Faye, Faye Runaway, Aiden Starr, Shannon Kelly, Carly Parker, Mark Davis, Sledgehammer, Alex Gonz, Justice Young, Adrianna Nicole, Christian, Julie NIght, Evan Stone, Sandra Romain, Kylie Ireland, Delilah Strong, Tyler Knight, Lorelei Lee, Madison Young, Marco Banderas, Jenner, Brian Surewood, Tee Real, Alec Knight, H.M. Smith, Jeff HIckey, Mary Forrest, Tom Elliot, Tony Batman, Dynasty

This Sci-Fi Sexy/Action Adventure/ X-rated Thriller is OUT OF THIS WORLD! Yep, eight hours, as in a movie that is close to five hours long and extras that are more then three hours. UPLOAD can be enjoyed as a futuristic feature film. It can be used as a sex aid. You can watch the documentary to learn some really cool, behind the scenes secrets, as in ” How did they make that?, How did they do that?, What do the stars look like in grubby clothes with no make-up? (lol) ” There is a lot of enjoyment, entertainment and ejaculation packed into one box titled UPLOAD.

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Upload is the story of Tesla (Hillary Scott), a plugged-in hacker who successfully recovers a secret computer chip which can change the world as we know it. It is also the story of Cassandra Cray (Eva Angelina) and Michael Born (Derrick Pierce), two underground government agents who are trying to find the elusive Enigma file and in the process come across Tesla and her chip. Cassandra also spends a lot of unhappy time being questioned about her job and her troubled life by an unnamed interrogator (Bryn Pryor)

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A lot of the action in the movie takes place as flashbacks. I also have to mention a brilliant bit of virtual reality which the characters call “skin sim”. Most of the people in UPLOAD’S seedy world have a plug installed in the back of their neck which allows them to insert a chip and “jack in” to a virtual sexual experience. (Wish I had one of those…) This is how some of the TWELVE sex scenes in the movie are worked into the plot. Even with the back and forth of the plot and the large amount of sex scenes, the movie’s story-line is clearly defined and wonderfully written.

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Back to the sex scenes. Easily described as ultra hardcore, I loved the torture and sodomy of Julie Knight, Tesla’s anal cavity search by a rough female guard, the huge orgy with a double anal, Tesla being gang-banged by four muscle men, Kylie Ireland and friends in an anal, fisting, three-way, shot in black and white and the three fair nymphs feasting, fisting and pissing on each other in the desert. And that’s only HALF of the action! All of the sex scenes were hot and well done. You’ll want to watch them more then once, and your favorite will be committed to memory. (Julie with nipple clamps, I can still picture it.)
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There really is so much more to UPLOAD then sex scenes and a plot. It takes you to that place where you are so involved in the story that you forget you are watching a movie. For a porn to do that, it should no longer be called a porn. This is a feature film with fabulous sex in it. That is the only description that can to do it justice.

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Yes, the cast list is way longer than normal. Maybe that’s because this movie is by all our usual standards, out of the ball park. Director Eli Cross is obviously a believer in the “bigger is better” theory, and we aren’t talking penis size here. Bigger cast, bigger budget ($360,000), bigger shooting schedule (nineteen days), bigger FX (200 shots) , bigger running time (four freakin’ hours and forty-five minutes, and that is JUST the movie!), bigger BTS (2 discs worth), bigger box set (4 DVD’s), biggest all-star cast, and hopefully, the biggest selling movie of the year.

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My biggest (and only) complaint about the movie is that the dialog was not loud and clear. There were many places when I couldn’t understand what the actors were saying, which is important to follow the story line. One thing that could have been bigger, but wasn’t, is the price of $39.95. So worth it. Make sure you get the Director’s Cut. Buy if for yourself at www.sexz.com

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NOTE: This review and layout ( A shorter Version) appears in the Xcitement December 2007 Issue PRINT version – Over 30,000 issues in South Florida and is scheduled For Publishing In Our Atlanta Affiliate an additional 30,000 copies.

Attention all Studios and Publicity, want your new release to get “The Xcitement Treatment”? We offer you an incredible promotion opportunity! Contact Cindi Loftus: writercindi@aol.com